i am taking the opportunity to take a hiatus from this blog. Writing here was supposed to be for me and my benefit/logs/to record my memories and those of my children and lately it has been rather more about things that maybe are too personal for the general public.
So i’m gone for a while.
Mia Mia Mia.
Do not let your hatred consume you. It will not bring you the happiness that even you are searching for.
Courtesy of you-know-who. They are adorable but their hair is hideous!
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(This was a before of K.)
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Look at that smile! (though it always seems to be tinged with chocolate or something)
i spent some time with my boys today while x was at work. We made cookies and then dropped Kevin off at his school with his new ‘faux-hawk,’ which he absolutely loved. I was driving back in the car with ice and he said:
”Hey mom, do you like to have fun?” um. yes. Sure.
“So, lets go to the park so you can push me on the swings. That’s fun!” lol.
..and in other news, i forgot to mention last Thursday my car got munched. I was parked and about to get out of the car and some lady next to me hit it while backing out, then she went forward and totally took a bite out of it. ack. She was so upset about it- and since i don’t get in the passenger side, ever, i keep forgetting about it. sigh.
So, school: i have two classes at night at the furthest campus i could possibly find (kidding, but it seems like it), for about 4 hours each. We usually get out early but the studying and the driving wear me out for the rest of the week pretty much.
I’m taking : Crime scene Processing and :Intro to Forensics. Now, in the book it said i have to take CSP first and then Intro to Forensics, however, the professor says the exact opposite which makes more sense.
One girl and i opted to take them both from the same professor at the same time. At first i wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not but now we’re a month in and have just over a month left to go (summer semester and all..) Now it seems pointless to be taking Intro to For. at all because we are learning everything twice (which should make it easy to get A’s in both classes) For once i am really *really* enjoying the classes, even though they get late and i get tired. I know all the answers when he asks the questions because we’ve already covered it in the other class - or if it’s the other one, we’ve covered it in the first. To the point where he’s sort of stopped asking me now.
This professor is absolutely anal about spelling, punctuation and grammar on our reports and such. However, he is also constantly, and i mean every second sentence, saying “we was” or “they was” or some other maddening combination of words that make no sense in the English language. I’m learning way too much to let it bother me too much i guess. Although some of us girls laugh about it in the elevator afterwards.
The divorce has not progressed much at all. X has finally conceded to another mediation attempt and that should happen later this month. It’s been frustrating to say the least.
My vehicle had been making that ‘belt is loose’ sound and when i tried to find the place we usually take it for maintenance i couldn’t, then it stopped the noise for a while so i let it be. Till it died just about a block away from school one night- power steering totally gone and battery light on. So i went in to class and then we had someone come out and attempt to put a new belt on it- no go. By that time it was seriously late so we took the train home and left the car in the school lot. (i have a student sticker. Perhaps that’s why i didn’t get a ticket?) I had it towed to a shop the next day and after several hassles and such, it was fixed. Pricey, but not as pricey as they had initially quoted me.
Ok, enough shirking around. Here’s the real gossip: firstly, i apologize to x’s family members specifically because i haven’t been entirely up front with you all- mostly because the divorce isn’t final and i feel somewhat weird about this whole situation still. Some months ago i met a guy through a friend and we began seeing eachother. (note: this was at about 2 1/2 years since X officially left me.)
We were taking it slow and being careful and at the time i was staying at H’s house and he had moved in there into her second bedroom as her roommate. Well, not really even a month had passed before she kicked us both out for reasons really only known to her. This severed both our relationship with her. (yes mother, i was grateful i was able to stay on her couch for as long as i did, however, you weren’t there and the situation was ugly. U.G.L.Y. Something i never want to experience again. i wish her the best but, as i said, it’s severed. Let’s say severed and then the ends have been torched.)
So, this guy had to make an emergency deposit on a tiny one bedroom place and i ended up moving in there with him because i really had no where else to go. It was that sudden and unexpected. Anyway, we dated for some months and i cannot stress this enough: we were safe, careful, knowledgeable and responsible. But then,
surprise! (boy, were we!!??)
We discovered that there was a hitchhiking parasite aboard.
Welcome to my life!!
We sat on this discovery for a while and then decided it would be best for everyone involved to break the lease on the little place and move back into mine. X by this time had moved upstairs with the boys and all our stuff. i had been fainting and was unsure if i should live alone and etc. (oh, and btw, this was the same time that X had HER come stay for who knows how long in his apartment with MY BOYS! Yes, the same HER who broke up the marriage. Sound bitter? I’m not. Really. Ths is just the way our lives have progressed and separated. )
Anyway, it worked out. Now J. and i live down here in our old place and X and the boys (for now) live on the 3rd floor. It makes it awful convenient for dropping off misplaced mail or picking up the kids for visitation, although it isn’t as easy as it could be. I started taking J. to the kids’ soccer games way back when and they love him. We haven’t really told them anything other than that Mom and Dad would have separate houses, which meant that they’d have 2 places to live, 2 beds, sets of clothing, toys, etc. and they were fine with that.
Now they know we have a baby on the way and Ice isn’t so sure about that-understandably. He’s been the only baby for the last 3 years, but i think he’ll adjust just fine, what with two parents involved and an older brother. He has plenty of love and will not lack for any attention or anything of course. Kevin is taking a ‘therapeutic pre-school’ course that will prepare him for kindergarden in September. Ice is on the waiting list for the same.)
So that’s that. Secret’s out. Due date is December 23rd (convenient, no?) i’ve been keeping a blog for the last couple months and now have published it at:
We had an ultrasound yesterday that showed that even though i am huge- i mean really, really huge!-there’s supposedly only one in there. Course yeah, i know the stories…one hides behind the other and all that…but really, do i NEED to have more than one child right at this particular time in my life??
Okay, discuss and judge away. Comments are open.
Hey, did i mention; i am happy???? This is clearly a side-road long-cut to my 5 -10 year plan before more children were even thought about, however, things have fallen into place and honestly, i have the love and support and care now that i sorely lacked during my other pregnancies. i am taken care of and although i don’t really want to get into it, i feel better now about having a kid than i did with the other two.
So i was reading a local online paper and was in the classifieds section where i found an ad for a party service where they come and bring the reptiles and teach the kids (or whoever) about them, what they eat, where they’re from, etc and the kids get to handle them.
So i booked her. She was extremely cheap and i checked with Kevin first to make sure he’d be okay with that. He said it would be cool but he wasn’t sure he’d like to touch anything. i told him it was totally up to him. but as it turned out- he touched or held practically everything. She (and her husband) were way cool and very knowledgeable and it was great entertainment. i can’t tell you how many people stopped by (we had it at the local park) to touch the animals and “join in” so to speak. I paid for an hour and she said that if the kids were having fun it didn’t matter if she stayed longer. She also brought goodie bags for the kids which included gummy bugs and these little clear bug-catcher containers with a magnifying glass on the top. She gave each of the kids a cricket to take home in the container. ( i have the boys’ because ex didn’t want “bugs in his house.” Sigh. The male sings at night every night. It’s kinda cool.)
So, if you’re in the Salt Lake area and would like to book her, i highly recommend it. Even for young kids- in the pictures, the little boy who held absolutely everything is about 18 months old and he loved it. Ice did too and he is just 3.
You can contact her at: Kim’s Cold Blooded Creatures at : Langes@Q.com
Happy Birthday Kevin! Can’t believe at 5:46 am this morning you turned 5!! I’ll write some more later but i didn’t want to miss this very important date!
Check out the link for his 5th party i held yesterday at the park. I’ll write about it soon! i promise!
a LOT has been going on here. I’ve lost TEMPORARY legal and physical custody of the boys- until the divorce is final. Who knows how long that will take? i couldn’t be more frustrated but somehow i am dealing.
School began for me this week. I’m only taking 2 classes this summer because they are both 4 1/2 hours long and will require a lot of studying, not to mention both at a campus an hour’s drive away. But, they are: Intro to Forensics and Processing a Crime Scene.
Same teacher and a couple girls are in both classes with me as well. For the Forensics one, i am stoked! Yesterday was the first class and (thanks to my incessant viewing of all those true-crime shows, books, whatever i can get my hands on), i knew all the answers. That probably won’t last but i know i am going to love this class. The other (Processing a Crime Scene), we have no required book for, however, we do have a list of “Sherlock Holmes” items to get for a kit.
Like a magnifying glass, tape measure and measuring tape, binders, notepads, clipboard, various specific pens, rulers, etc. We’re each getting a finger printing kit as well. It’s going to be fascinating.
I’m considering switching my major to Forensics instead of Criminal Justice- all the classes i’ve taken so far will translate and that has been my interest from the beginning, i just didn’t know i could major in it. I thought CJ was the way to go. i will have to concentrate a lot more on Physiology and Biology in order to work in a Crime Lab, but i don’t have a problem with that. Maybe the minor will be CJ.
Other changes are happening that i will speak about soon. Kevin’s 5th birthday is coming up and i was able to take us both school shopping- he’ll be going to a pre-school school to orient him for Kindergarden. He is excited about that and so am i. He’ll do great, he’s such a smart boy. Sometimes i don’t know how he got to be so intelligent. He’s crazy smart. i feel inadequate to parent him at times because i think soon he’ll have questions i won’t be able to answer. (good thing i’m in school too!) (and thanks to those who are making it possible!)
For some reason i am unable to post pictures here- i’ve tried but perhaps i need to clear files or something. I want to show off how big the boys are getting. i have an excellent idea for Kevin’s party Saturday of next week! i am so excited!
i had the boys both days. First day we cheaply rented a paddle boat to take over the lake for 1/2 an hour. They had a blast. Second day i took them to the kids swimming pool.
Kevin asked me at one point if i had paint or glue. i didn’t understand and when he finally explained it to me, he wants hair paste or gel in order for me to make him a faux-hawk. Course, he thinks it’s going to be a mo-hawk. Sigh. His hair is only about an inch long all over- courtesy of his father shaving it when we had the lice scare last month. Can’t believe how grown up he is becoming.
This post is closed for comments so you can email me if you feel you have something relevant to say. i don’t expect you to and i don’t really care either way. This is just a vent.
i feel that people -pretty much everyone who is close to me- is disappointed with me. Family, friends, other relatives and people. There are different reasons that i could give for each person but i won’t here.
i guess i think that while i am receiving emotional, financial and physical support -something from most you all, it is also my life and my health and i don’t feel like i should be judged for my decisions. i respect your opinions when you give them to me non-judgmentally, but lately i haven’t been getting too many of those. Yes, i am not doing well physically but the choices i have made have been made and i plan to stick to them AS WELL as continue on with my schooling and life and etc.
I feel that if you were my true friends you would support that.
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